his page is a gift to you.

It’s what the marketers tell me I should give you only after I make you give me your email address.

To heck with ’em. Here it is, and if you want me to email you when I offer classes (which I do) or when the book is published (next summer) – please, yes, give me your email!

Last year, writing my book, I took a couple weeks off to make a few short videos so all the folks who were asking about it and wanted to use it and share it, could do so. Of course, that took about 8 months longer than I’d planned, but here it is – all 7 hours or so.

This is the body of work I have have been developing over the last dozen years, which I call the Wheel of Consent. The videos are fine, the ideas are fine – but it’s the experience of it that will change you.

(Many folks have asked for a printable diagram, so here it is – but it’s still the experience that matters – when your hands get it, you get it.)

I hope you have a great time with it.

Thank you, Betty







WANT-TO AND WILLING-TO: What’s the difference and why does it matter?

Not what you might think!

What is pleasure and what does it mean to ‘follow’ it?


The Lessons

The Lesson


The geekery behind it ~ what is happening here?



The Lesson


The Taking Role


The Allowing Role


The Lesson


The Receiving Role


The Giving Role





The Wheel of Consent and the 4 quadrants

The dynamic between these two halves


The Receiving Half


The Giving Half



The Doing Half


The Done-to Half





The 4 Quadrants ~ themes, challenges, possibilities, erotic elements, spiritual principles and shadows of each:


Some thoughts on the Taking Quadrant with my friend Harry Faddis, who invented the 3 Minute Game.





FREE DOWNLOAD: The 3-Minute Game (a booklet) and The Wheel of Consent (a 1-page diagram)

BONUS!  A nice long conversation with Harry Faddis, the inventor of the 3-Minute Game