help people of all genders, and couples, find the relaxed, confident, joyful sensuality that is their nature.
It’s no wonder it may not have been easy so far. Our culture is highly confused about pleasure, sexuality, affection and touch. It’s hard to find anything about which we have so many mixed feelings.
There are a few keys, however, that open the door for you to find what is authentically you, what expresses who you are and how you love. They are fairly simple and are based on tuned-in self awareness and knowing how to choose, communicate, receive and give.
These sound like basics, and they are, but they are rarely taught well and hide behind a mountain of misconceptions and fallacies.
Because they are fundamental, they are profound in their effect on your sense of ease, freedom, sensuality, joy and connection. Without you knowing how to choose and communicate, your body cannot relax into pleasure, no matter how hard ‘you’ try. It’s as simple, and as challenging, as that.
You are the well-spring of your own eroticism. It arises from the deep well of your human heart/soul/body. When you tap into your sensuality, sexuality and desire and know how to choose and communicate, life changes. Not only your sex life, but the rest of your life as well.
So my work is about sexuality, and it is about very much more. I help you find the source of your own vitality, confidence and authenticity – and – your sex life becomes truly rich and satisfying, for both of you.
My approach is practical, lighthearted, gentle and deep. I accept you right where you are and take you as deep into the tender heart your erotic discovery as you care to go.
What doesn’t work – and what does:
There are many approaches to learning about sex and sexuality. Most of them focus on what to do – how to touch this body part or that, as if there is a recipe that, if we only knew, we could follow to success (whatever that is).
However, no recipe is flexible enough to fit everyone. What satisfies in sex is not technique – it is the degree to which you are authentic in your expression of who you are, as a person, as a couple, and in the moment.
Finding this is not difficult – unless no one has showed you the key. Once you have it, you relax into play and a deep, rich, heart-filled passion and generosity. This is the way it was meant to be.
Once you have it, you don’t need a recipe. You leave the recipe in the dust and find the real thing, the heart of Eros.
Coaching is for people who:
~ Want more ease and sense of play in their affection, touch and sex
~ Want support on a sexual healing journey
~ Want to find a spark in a stale relationship
~ Want support in understanding and exploring desires they’re not quite sure about
~ Want some warm, safe connection, holding, cuddling and exploring
~ Want to learn how to take plain old, reasonably ok sex into profoundly ecstatic experiences
~ Want to open the power of Eros to heal, empower, transform and enlighten
~Want a safe and comfortable place to talk about sex, ask questions and be heard
Anote for couples:
Quite often, one partner is more enthusiastic about seeing me than the other is.
Relationships and sexuality are complex and the reasons for reticence are many. Know that the most important thing for any couple is to find what it is that makes everybody happy, not just the one whose idea it is to come see me. Most often this means slowing down to make room for the less enthusiastic partner to find what it is he or she wants. Believe me, it’s worth it!
To the less enthusiastic of the pair: Don’t worry – we are going to make room to find out what makes your heart sing.
Sessions and fees
I help people – all shapes, sizes, ages and genders of people – get really comfortable in their skin and learn how to enjoy it again.
Sometimes people know they have challenges, sometimes they have been struggling for years. Other times they are doing okay, but are ready for something more, something better, something more vital and authentic.
Sessions are experiential. That means we do more than talk – we do stuff. I show you how to breathe and move so that your body remembers how to relax, and we may (if you like) exchange some touch so that you remember how to notice what you want, trust it, value it and communicate it.
The first session:
First, we talk a bit, I hear about your history and your interests, answer any questions you have. If you come as a couple, I am especially careful to hear both of you and never let one of you speak for the other.
Then I take you through a few experiences that play with body awareness and communication and show both you and me what is easy for you and what is hard for you.
These sessions are clothed, gentle, empowering and fun. Most people are surprised at what they learn and take home new skills immediately.
Now that we know more about what you need, we can move in that direction.
Sessions are experiential ~ Physical play, role play, affection, touch, learning body awareness through breath, movement, play, perhaps massage. Sometimes learning about your own experience of arousal by taking you into it.
We become very clear on receiving and giving, what they are and are not and how to tell the difference.
Sessions may include the option to shed some layers of clothing, depending on what you prefer. You are never asked to wear less than you are comfortable in.
You will be learning how to choose and communicate, so at no time – ever – are you expected to do anything that is beyond your level of comfort. I never allow one partner of a couple to pressure the other.
When working with couples, you choose how much you want me involved in the cuddling and touching. I do not have sex with clients.
Time and money
Sessions are 90 minutes, $180. For couples, 2 hours, $220. Sometimes I recommend longer sessions.
My hope is that anyone who really wants to do this work can make it happen. If finances are a challenge, this may include some negotiating and possibly trading of services, up to half the amount owed. In short, money is not a good enough reason to keep you out. Let’s talk!